What if I QUIT?

Been thinking a lot these few days, first year of university getting to an end, and the feeling of quitting doesn't fade, but gets stronger. With myself telling you I'm stressed up during this period won't even convince myself, but when signs of being stressed up are showing up, I can't do anything but just admit.

This has been a ridiculous year, starting off with my Year 1, thought of freedom and enjoyments at first, but it turns out to be totally different. I need to start taking responsibilities as an adult, whether I like it or not.

Signs of mentally unhealthy starts to appear after half of the second semester was gone, never seen me having this as a problem? Try to read this: I started to face difficulties sleeping at night, by rolling for hours on bed, having my earphones on, I knew that things are not just as easy as I grabbed too much nap in the afternoon. Been having liquors and cigarettes in my mind for the last couple of weeks but the worst is thinking of just banging my car while I was driving on the road.

The above statement doesn't seem like someone that you know, a person that you met at least once in a week, people see me as a whole, but I see myself as a hole. I walked all the way struggling badly, which I haven't have the courage to let anybody know. As you read this, you'll know I struggle as much as you do, and maybe more than you did.

What if I QUIT? This question had been in mind for some time, but now, let's have some rest. I'll try my best to get well, to be better each day.

我可能

金钟效应，《我可能》作为开端，这样士气较好。以下为如果、我可能：

如果二十年前我不曾出世，我可能永远也没发看见这世界的多姿多彩；如果二十年前，我成了别人的孩子，我可能感受不到我父母给我那无条件的爱；如果家里只有我一个孩子，我可能现在会很寂寞；如果没有了他们，我可能再也找不到活着下去的动力和坚持。

如果这些年你们不曾出现过，我可能不是现在的我；如果我们都不曾以任何方式认识彼此，我可能永远不会知道你的存在，你也矣是如此；如果我们不常联络，我可能会忘掉你的名字，模糊了你的模样；如果我们能好好坐下来聊聊，我可能会让你也感受我对这友情的珍惜和能和你相识的荣幸。

生命中有很多来了又走的过客，慢慢的能接受，也慢慢的变成了别人人生中的影子。时间的流失让我也沦陷在变化中，放弃梦想，回归现实；厌恶灯光，只求平淡。

也许我拥有最好的礼物，就是健忘。无论今天过得多么糟糕，无论今天有多么烦躁、无论今天发生的种种让我多么喘不过气，只要一觉醒来，似乎又是新的开始。今天如果碰壁了，如果气馁了，如果想放弃了，好好休息，好好花些时间处理自己的情绪，休息能重振继续努力下去的动力。

一整年走来，对于上帝的带领，我无一不觉得惊奇。这一年，象征着人生另一阶段的变化，而这变化，只为了让我成为更好的自己。

是时候做体检了。太多太多，我还没做的事，太多太多，我害怕自己不够时间去做的事，太多太多，我怕我会遗憾的事。

最后，好好学会如何去爱，被爱，然后再去爱，而我也正在学习。